TIME CAFÉ
380 Lafayette Street (Corner of Great Jones Street, New York 10003 (Village). (212) 533-7000. 6 to Astor Place; B/D/F/Q to Broadway-Lafayette Streets.
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TIME CAFÉ NORTH
2330 Broadway (Corner of Broadway and West 85th St., New York 10024 (Upper West Side). (212) 579-5100. 1/9 to 79th Street; B/C to 81st Street.
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With its little floor tiles and whirling ceiling fans, the Village's Time Café's giant, airy room evokes a huge soda fountain. The bar, limited but well branded, is decorated with colored seltzer bottles. Above it, the hands spin playfully way too fast on a large wall clock. Show tunes and kitschy love songs can barely be heard above the shout of the crowd, which is largely under 30 and ranges from painfully hip to shabbily collegiate, with older minor moguls and tourists in the mix. A side room with a low ceiling is much more quiet and intimate, though it lacks the big windows facing the street. Hidden past a narrow arched door and beaded curtain is Fez, a dark, mock-Moroccan bar with plushy seats and Persian rugs, and hidden below that is an eclectic performance space.

But on the ground floor on weekends is Time's eggs Benedict, costing $9.75 alone and also served as part of a $13.50 prix fixe brunch including a coffee, a drink (bellini, bloody Mary, mimosa, screwdriver, or fresh juice), and a "homemade muffin of the day" or "small fruit plate." The mimosa was dull, made with fresh juice but ordinary champagne. The bloody Mary was much better, large and stong and spicy and cold, with a big fat celery stick swizzle and a brown-sugar-encrusted rim. The small fruit plate is piled high with three kinds of melon plus pineapple, grapes, and berries, plus a bit of decorative citrus. Coffee is very hot (and why not; alone, I was seated next to a waitstation).

On my review visit to this downtown branch, my eggs Benedict's hollandaise sauce, lightly sprinkled with chopped chives, had well-balanced yolk and butter, but was salty. It had a dull finish from having sat too long before being served, leaving both the sauce and poached eggs barely warm. One egg was deflated, having lost half its yolk during cooking. N.B.: Do not serve the food reviewer deflated eggs. The Canadian bacon had prominent grill lines but had been cooked too little, depriving it of flavor. The English muffin was very lightly toasted, more chewy than crispy. Home fries were dry chunks of potato spiced with very finely ground pepper, giving a good warm mouth burn, but looking too burnt.

At the uptown branch, which has a quieter, calmer diner feel to it, my eggs Benedict sat for so long before coming to me that the hollandaise sauce had congealed into something resembling yellow tub caulking. The first thing I do with eggs Benedict is run my fork across the top to taste only the sauce. Here it came off in a skin, and I could not chip off the sauce that had run onto the edge of the plate. Well-poached eggs had lost almost all heat. The Canadian bacon was flavorful but salty. The English muffins were well toasted. Home fries comprised very spicy cubed potato. A $4.75 side order of bacon was generous and crispy. The mimosa was good, with lots of icy champagne still bubbling upwards. The bloody Mary was bland, and had a straw instead of downtown's celery stick.

In both branches, service is friendly but slow. Downtown, I had to request a drink twice; uptown, the waiter offered to refill my coffee but never got around to doing so. Uptown, a clueless busperson offered me another patron's eggs Benedict while I was working on mine.

Time Café eggs Benedict is hardly worth the price at either location, but at at least the downtown one has a scene.

Rest rooms: Downtown: clean, spacious, and glossily black. Uptown: clean, spacious, and institutional.
Handicapped access: Downtown: All on one level except rest rooms, which are up a long stairway and then down a twisted hall. Aisles are narrow. Uptown: All on one level, and restrooms are fully accessible.